I met Sunil in Nepal and our meeting was brief. I was invited to dinner with some people I had met earlier in the day and when I got to the restaurant Sunil, along with many other people were there. During dinner, he heard me mention that I was getting ready to head to India. Sunil was from Lucknow, a city in northern India and the capital of the Uttar Pradesh state. I can’t remember if he even invited me to come to Lucknow but in any case, I told him that I was coming!
Dinner in Nepal (When I first met Sunil)
Lucknow was about an 8 hour train ride from Agra. While sitting on the train I thought about how different life is in the“real world”. Back in my real life, traveling 8 hours on a very crowded train to visit a guy I barely knew in a city I had never heard of would seem very strange. However, while traveling this seemed very normal. I had no plans after Agra and the thought of seeing a friendly face and visiting a new city with a local seemed like a great idea!
I thought I was on a sleeper class but I ended in general seating. At least, I had a confirmed seat and did not have to stand!
I had no expectations regarding Lucknow. I also barely remembered what Sunil looked like and I had to stalk his Facebook in order to put a face to his name. I had planned to get a guesthouse and probably spend a couple hours with him here and there. I had no idea how much fun I would have or how much time I would be spending with my new friend!
Sunil 🙂
I was excited when Sunil offered to pick me up from the train station. He arrived in an actual car and it felt like the greatest thing ever. Other than a few taxis, I had not been in a car in quite some time!. It was very exciting to drive through intersections while cars, rickshaws, tuk-tuks and horses were coming at us in every direction! There did not appear to be any pattern to the chaotic traffic and I jumped and cursed quite frequently, although Sunil never even flinched. While in the car I also encountered poverty that I had not yet experienced. Very young children walking up to “our” car while parked and knocking on the windows to indicate they were hungry and needed money for food.
“When the old meets the new”
After driving around for some time, we were unsuccessful with finding me a room. I decided (and was invited!) to spend one night at Sunil’s and then find a room the following day. I ended up never getting my own room and stayed at Sunil’s home with his parents for the next three nights. My first night there we drove around on Sunil’s motorcycle and I met his sweet and considerate friends (they kept checking on me to make sure I was not cold, hungry, thirsty or scared!) We also made aubergine. This delicious fresh mixture of peppers, tomatoes, eggplant and other scrumptious things . Sunil’s mom made homemade chapati which was delicious.
Cooking
So good!
The following day, I had a blast getting to know Sunil and Lucknow. We drove around on his bike and I had fun driving down the little, tiny and crowded alleys. I never enjoyed sitting in traffic as much as I did on that day. I generally walk everywhere and I am the one responsible for navigating where I go. Sitting on the back of a Sunil’s bike, watching life go by while not being responsible for anything was a great feeling! He also took me to an amazing lassi stand, my first lassi in India. These everyday things are what I love so much about traveling.
It is illegal for a driver to not wear a helmet but not the passengers. I kept pestering Sunil for one so he finally gave me his. Luckily he did not get a ticket!
Lucknow traffic jam
I don’t think Sunil’s parents quite knew what to think of me. Sunil told me that to his mother, I was like a television show. She had never had much experience with westerners before and she did not speak any English. I kept catching her looking at me with curiosity. I would then smile and she would smile and we would go back to whatever it was we were doing. I think what was the funniest and oddest for her, was what ending up bonding us. Sunil was invited to a wedding and asked me if I wanted to come. Of course, I was beyond excited to attend my first Indian wedding and I wanted to wear the “appropriate” clothing. Sunil and his mother were subjected to a “Melanie Fashion Show” which consisted of me trying on many different outfits, commenting on them and asking for feedback! When the outfit was finally decided on, Sunil’s mother gave me one of her beautiful shawls to wear to the wedding.
Sunil’s wonderful mother 🙂
The wedding was a Muslim wedding. In traditional Muslin tradition, men and women are kept in separate areas during the wedding. Sunil had mentioned something about this but I did not know the extent of what it would detail. I thought there would be some sort of wedding ceremony (similar to in a church wedding in the states) and the men and women would be sitting on separate sides of the room (similar to church pews). I even asked Sunil if the couple would kiss and he burst out laughing!
Female separation sign
Male separation sign
Not only were the men and women kept separate, the bride and groom were also kept separate and there was definitely no kissing going on. All the women guests were upstairs and the men were downstairs. When we first got there, Sunil introduced me to someone, made sure I had a phone to call him if I needed him and said goodbye! I had no time to feel awkward or strange because before I knew it I was being ushered into a backroom where the bride, along with a few other women sat on a bed. The bride appeared ( I could not see face her because she was covered by a beautiful and elaborate covering) to be crying. She reminded me of the young bride I encountered at the wedding in Nepal I attended. The women all sat around her on the bed. I could not believe where I was at that moment. From the second I arrived at the wedding, I was surrounded by kind and fun girls and women who wanted to be around me and make me feel welcome! Also, I once again felt like some sort of celebrity. So many people wanted to take a photo with me and I noticed that the wedding video photographers kept recording me! I would love to one day see that video!
These ladies were so shy to ask me for a photo and so appreciative to have one. They were also pretty excited when I wanted one too!
This woman took me under her wing from the beginning!
Throughout the entire evening, the bride and groom were kept separate. We left around midnight and this was before the ceremony even took place! While we were there, the bride also never emerged from the backroom she was in. Sunil had told me that in Muslin weddings, the priest asks both the bride and groom if they are sure they want to marry the other. This is repeated three times and both the bride and groom must individually repeat””Qubool, hai”, “”Qubool, hai”, “”Qubool, hai” which means “yes”.
Beautiful women and saris everywhere!
I was able to visit the guys on the men’s floor for some photo opts and dessert! I liked the desert better downstairs! But I have to admit, I liked the women’s section much better. Most of the men seemed so serious, and laughter and color seemed to be lacking!
Sunil and some of his friends
The groom and his “men”
The brother of the bride and I
I loved the food at the wedding, and so did everyone else. Hindus are vegetarians but Muslims eat meat. So all the “non-strict Hindus” were really excited to eat “non-veg food”. Since I am a vegetarian, I thought I would be eating a lot of chapati and rice (since everything had meat in it!) but one of my new friends asked one of the servers for “veg food” and I, along with another vegetarian were brought a huge plate of fantastic vegetarian food that had been hiding in the men’s area.
Some delicious food and fabulous company
These men were making a massive amount of chapati all night!
The following day there was a “reception” of sorts. I thought now that the couple was married, the men and women would be allowed to be in the same area. No, this was not the case. However, the whole environment seemed a lot more relaxed in the men’s area and I actually spent more time with the men. Even thought there was no music, dancing or alcohol, I had a blast!
Sunil and I with the “party guards”
Sunil and I did so much more than I could possibly write in this one blog post! We saw sights, spent time outside and in the woods and even attended a huge festival that had rides and everything! Other than at the wedding (and sleeping), we spent all of our time together! I could never have imagined how great my time in Lucknow would be.
