When I had previously been to Agra, I became friends with Govinda and Dimple Gupta and their two boys. The family had diligently been preparing for and planning their niece’s wedding. Over 1500 people had been invited and the event was going to be spectacular. I was ecstatic when I was invited to the wedding. I really wanted to attend but I did not know how Amy and I would feel about leaving Rajasthan after only a little bit and heading back (for me!) to Agra. After much discussion, we decided to rearrange some things and head to Agra. We felt that the experience of attending an actual Indian wedding was definitely worth the trip. Plus, it would be fun to see all my friends in Agra!
The wedding was being held on March 5 but there were a series of events to leading up to the big day. I had been invited to arrive on March 1 and attend all the festivities and events but Amy and I decided that we would arrive on the morning of the 4th. We boarded an overnight train from Jodhpur and set off for Agra.
Amy and I on the train trying to “guilt” a man into trading seats so we could stay together. It did not work!
Amy away from me in her top bunk
I had made arrangements with my friend, Sunny who is the manager at the guesthouse that I had previously stayed in. Shortly after getting settled, Govinda arrived at our guesthouse to make sure that we had directions to his family’s home, where a “women’s party” was taking place. Amy and I had been on the train all night and Govinda took one look at us and asked if we had dresses or anything to wear! He told us if we did not, we could buy them in the market! Amy and I finished getting ready and then we headed to Govind’a brother’s home. This was also the home of the bride, Pria.
Taking a chai break as we get ready for the party
When we arrived at the home, we were made to feel welcome right away! The house was decorated from the outside with many “Christmas” lights and on the inside there were large colorful sheets draped around the main room where the party was being held. Women were sitting in circles, singing, playing drums, laughing, talking and arguing. There were young children and females of all ages from babies to grandmas.
The fabulous Gupta women!
There were various ceremonial activities that took place throughout the day. One of these activities included being gifted with a red string bracelet with little gold beads. The women took turns placing it onto their family members’ hands. I am not sure what the significance of the red bracelet was but I liked it!
Amy receiving her bracelet
Receiving my red bracelet
The main event of the day was the Haldi ceremony. Both families hold Haldi ceremony parties in their homes and their closest friends and family are in attendance. This ceremonial activity consists of a turmeric paste being placed on five body parts of the both the bride and groom. These fives places include the feet, knees, arms, hands and face. The paste is made from sandalwood powder, turmeric and rose water and serves as a cleanser for both the body and soul. It also signifies the bride entering into married adult life. From the Haldi ceremony and on, the bride and groom are not to see each other until the wedding day. (thebigfatindianwedding.com)
Dimple carefully rubbing turmeric on Amy (prior to the fight!)
After the turmeric paste was placed on Pria’s five body parts, the turmeric fight started. What first started as a calm activity, quickly escalated into a full-blown turmeric fight and nobody was safe, not even the grandmother. Whenever a man walked into the room, he was completely attacked with turmeric. All the men were such good sports and laughed it off. Even the photographers and cooks got covered!
Grandmother getting attacked with turmeric
Govinda was attacked when he came into the room for some food! All the men were busy at the wedding venue helping to set up and supervise but would periodically come into the room.
Apparently turmeric is very good for the skin! Amy said turmeric skin cream sells for a ton in NYC. We were actually able to purchase some for less than $1.50. So far I love it!
The food at the party was incredible. I have had some amazing food in India, but this was some of the best I have eaten. This was also the start of my wedding weekend overeating! The food was not only amazing, but it kept getting piled on my plate. When I would say that I was full, I would be told that I could eat more! The food was set up in a buffet style, but various family members served one another, nobody served themselves. When I thanked Dimple for my food she said with a smile “It is my duty!”
The beautiful Dimple!
These peppers were so good! Nobody in India ever wants to give me spicy food because they assume I don’t like spice. Amy and I had to specifically ask for the peppers for this reason and they were the best.
Idily, coconut chutney, curry and chapati
Eating lunch
Throughout the day, amazing dance sessions would take place. The girls knew all the words and the moves to accompany the music. As outgoing as I am in life, I am self-conscience when it comes to dancing. I have always loved dancing (hippie festival dancing!) but my dance moves are often criticized and I am not known to be the most graceful or coordinated dancer! Once, at a work party in north Philly, I was even told I looked constipated! I think the rap music I was attempting to dance to was very different than the trippy festival-style music my dance moves are better sorted for! But I decided to “get over myself” and join in! Everyone in India laughs and stares at me anyway, so I might as well enjoy some dancing. And what better place than to dance at the “women’s party”!
Dance party!
After everyone was stuffed and danced out, Pria went downstairs to begin her ornate henna tattooing. The bride’s henna is so detailed and takes several hours to complete, during which she is unable to move. During this time, Amy, myself and the rest of the guests left to take a nap before we came back for round two, later that night.
Round two consisted of more eating, more dancing and henna! The women changed the colors of their outfits in order to match the henna. Earlier in the day most of the women wore yellow, to match the turmeric. For the henna portion of the night, many of the women chose to wear green. I told Dimple that we didn’t change and she exclaimed in a fun lighthearted way “You always change!” Backpacking around Asia with one carry-on-sized bag does not allow much room for wardrobe changes! The henna portion of the evening was fun but definitely not as exciting as the turmeric fight. Not everyone was receiving henna and it seemed like those who were had brought their own. Amy had fun giving one of the girls a henna tattoo but I let my lack of artistic ability stop me. I did not think the woman would appreciate a “Kindergarten Flower” tattooed on her skin prior to the wedding!
Amy giving a henna tattoo
Henna party
The entire day was great! The Gupta family was so welcoming, kind and loving. I was not sure what to expect and prior to arriving I felt a little shy. But Govinda, Dimple and the rest of the family made sure Amy and I felt like we were part of the family. I had so much fun enjoying the party. The people, food, dancing and events were fabulous. This was just a small indicator of how great this wedding would be!
Dimple and the boys heading home after a fun day
