Wedding Time ( Part 3)

Amy and I were told to arrive at the wedding between 7:00 and 8:00 PM. We had also heard that Indian weddings really don’t get started until about 10:00 anyway but we arrived at 8:00. We had asked Govind what type of gift we should get the young couple and he said instead of purchasing something, (they probably don’t need anyway) we could send them something from America when we got home. Amy and I really liked this idea. Govind also said that we could get some flowers to present to them. We remembered the flowers while in the Tuk-Tuk on the way to the wedding and we had the driver stop so we could get some. After much deliberation, we finally decided on two different bouquets. We felt pretty funny carrying the bouquets of flowers around and we could not help but notice that nobody else had flowers. There were also elaborate flower arrangements all over the place which made out “little bouquets” look small!

The venue was amazing. There were white tables, chairs and couches throughout the grounds and flower arrangements hanging everywhere. The stage was lit up and decorated with many colors and flowers garlands. There was also a fountain in the middle of everything that glowed as the water shot out of it. We were blown away by everything and especially at how many food areas there were. We knew they would be there, because we saw the stands earlier in the day, but it was quite different with actual food and servers at them. The first food section was for the “snack” stuff which included options such as made to order dosa, idly, pakora, curd, hot spiced milk, paneer, tofu dishes and so much more! The next section included an array of drinks (non alcoholic). There was the entree area which included many vegetarian (all the food was vegetarian) curry dishes, nan stand and roti stand. There was also of course the dessert section which I throughly enjoyed. There were many others food areas and options scattered around the grounds such as pizza, coffee, fruit…you name it, it was there.

When Amy and I arrived, we sat for a while and took photos with people. I always feel like a “celebrity” in India because everyone wants a photo! At the wedding I felt like one even more so! I am in a for rude awakening when I go back to being a “regular old white American” and nobody wants a photo!

When Amy and I finally decided that we were ready to eat, it started pouring rain.We were in line for dosa and everyone was pushing to get at it. When we were finally able to secure one, we ran under the tent to enjoy our soggy dosa. This is when things really got wet. It started pouring so hard, thunder and lightening. Everything got soaked, the couches, tables, chairs were all sopping wet. The wind was also very strong so even when there was a small tent covering a couch, the rain was blown under it anyway. Most of the guests ran for shelter under the biggest tent. All the entree dishes were also brought under the tent and chaos erupted.

Amy and I were hungry so we joined the entree line only to watch everyone push ahead of us. After about five minutes of standing in one spot a teenage boy looked at us and said “You gotta be fast!” Amy and I realized that we were not going to eat unless we became a little aggressive. However, people were pushing, shoving, sticking plates in the air and we could not do it! Maybe I am too “proper” (Ha! Yeah right!) But I could not shove people out of the way to get to the food! After witnessing our struggle to get food, a young man helped us out. He had long arms and was good at reaching over the crowd and handing plates to the server. Thanks to this young man, we were able to eat!

After the mad rush to get food, I was in this “eat as much as you can as quick as you can” mentality! This is the exact opposite of how I generally try to eat! But anyhow I must have jumped on the bandwagon because as a huge basket of fried poori (I don’t even really like the fried poori) was carried in, I joined the crowd to reach my hand into the big basket that was above the poor man’s head! He could not even get the basket to the line of food to deliver the bread because everyone was grabbing for it! I arrived back to Amy feeling really proud of my “accomplishment” because we had previously missed out of the poori! However, I then instantly felt silly! I was already full, I don’t like to eat fried food and I literally just grabbed bread out of a basket above a man’s head! Once again, “When in Rome!” However, I better not try out my newly acquired social skills out when I get to Italy. I think the Italians would be appalled if I stole bread from one of the servers! If it was always this hard for me to eat bread, I might have an easier time saying “No!”

After we finished eating, the procession that included the groom and all his men arrived. The groom rode through town on a white horse with a band playing music and was dropped off at the wedding. This group of men sang, played musical instruments and danced in the rain. It reminded Amy and I of the rain dances that our Hippie Mothers would encourage us to do when we wanted it to stop raining! But the rain stopped!

Once it finally stopped raining, the DJ was able to begin playing music again and we joined the crowd to watch the dancing. The DJ was a family member and we had previously met him at the other events we attended. When he saw Amy and I in the crowd, not dancing he made a “special announcement for the special guests!” He announced that there were “two special guests in the crowd from America and that he was going to play a song us. He then proceeded to play “Gangnam Style” and insisted that we dance. At this point, Amy mysteriously developed a strong desire for chai and disappeared. I, on the hand was pulled up to the dance floor. I had no time to allow my “dancing phobia” to get the best of me because the crowd of onlookers was getting bigger and bigger as they watched my wonderful American dance moves! Also, I think it was assumed that I knew the “Gangnum Style” dance moves when this is far from the truth! I had to watch the young Indian dancers to know what the moves were!

At this point it was about 10:00 PM and Pria had still not arrived. It was during the “wild” dance party that her procession arrived. As beautiful as I have thought she previously looked (every time I saw her)! She was absolutely breathtaking. She was glistening from head to toes in sparkles and jewels. Her immediate family members surrounded her and carried a beautiful awning/covering draped with flower garlands. Everyone crowded around her to take photos.

Pria was escorted to the stage, where she was welcomed by her new husband who helped her up the stairs. All the family members were also on the stage and it was nice how they welcomed each other into their respective families. After Pria was welcomed, the family members exited the stage and the ceremony started to begin. The ceremony consisted of Pria and her husband exchanging beautiful flower leis and taking a lot of photos. At one point the photographer wanted the groom to put his arm around Pria for a photo. I could tell this was an uncomfortable moment for the young couple, who had probably never even been in the same room alone before!

Pria and her husband stayed on the stage for the majority of the night taking photos. Guests would come up on the stage, wish them well and have a photo taken with them. It was not until about 12:30 AM that they finally left the stage (and then took photos off the stage)! It was also at this time that the cowed was beginning to go home, however all the food was still available and there was no longer shoving. If Amy and I had known from the beginning that the food was going to be available all night, our eating experience would have been very different!

After most of the crowd was completely gone, other than immediate family, Amy and I decided that we were tired and it was ready to go home. Also, the family was going to be eating and we had already eaten enough! When we found Dimple and Govind to say good night, Dimple matter of factly told us that we were not leaving. She said we were there to enjoy the party and we were to find a seat and watch the events. Dimple is one of those people that you do not say “No” to. If Dimple she tells you to do something, you listen to her. So, Amy and I found a seat and we watched the family members eat. We felt extremely “welcomed” by the family but at the same time we felt a little funny sitting there watching the exhausted family members eat.

A table was set up, just for the family and they took turns literally feeding each other. I really liked how this “family meal” was planned and part of the evening. Because the family was so busy hosting the wedding, it was known that they would not have time to eat. Govind explained that after the meal, the bride and groom were to walk around around a temple that was set up and this was to seal the marriage. After this sealing of the marriage, Pria’s family would spend the rest of the night together crying. Govind explained that Pria’s new family was gaining a daughter but their family was losing one.

Although Dimple insisted that Amy and I find a bench to sleep on and “pretend we are sitting on a bus” we decided that it really was time for us to leave. As much as we wanted to be a part of the “sealing the marriage” ceremony, we were exhausted and also felt that this was a special time for the immediate family. We arrived back to our guesthouse happy, exhausted and full. I am so grateful to have been able to be part of such a special wedding and such special events leading up to the wedding. Govind and Dimple have such an incredible family and I felt so welcomed and loved by all of them.

It has also been really neat to compare the three different types of weddings I have attended while traveling. The village wedding in Nepal, the Muslim wedding in Lucknow and now the traditional Hindu wedding in Agra have all been completely different and amazing in their own right.